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Apr 8, 2010
Appearances, Parade Recap, Forecast


Dear Y'all,

Whoo! LOTS to talk about here! First of all—here’s where I will be in the next couple weeks—come see me if you can!

I'll be speaking in Holly Springs, MS, on Sunday, 18 April for the 72th Annual Holly Springs Pilgrimage. Then on Friday, 23 April, I'll be with the Junior League of Amarillo, Texas, for "Best of Texas Luncheon" Fundraiser; and, the very next day, I'll be in Greenville, SC, for a breast cancer awareness fundraising event hosted by the Ta Ta Queens. If you're in the area, come play with us and help raise some much needed funds!

If ever The Cutest Boy in the World was happy about having married me, I can assure you he is OVERJOYED about it NOW. That would be on account of, as my HUSBAND, he will get to accompany me on a little trip Saturday, 1 May 2010. This “little trip” is a 12-HOUR CRUISE ON BOARD THE U.S.S. GEORGE H.W. BUSH CVN77 AIRCRAFT CARRIER! I will be speaking to 8,000 or so Service men and women and their families at this invitation only event hosted by the Navy and the Maryland Initiative of the Barbara Bush Foundation for Family Literacy.

Oh. My. God. The Boy is SOOO EXCITED. Twelve hours at sea, on that EXTREMELY ENORMOUS SHIP—and it will be actually MOVING—and there will be AIR SHOWS and all manner of demonstrations involving EXTREMELY ENORMOUS EQUIPMENT. I will be lucky if he doesn’t try to ENLIST while we’re there.

I am looking so forward to the opportunity, not only to support Family Literacy (after all—only people who can READ actually BUY BOOKS!) but I’m also excited about the chance to do a little something for some of our Service men and women to whom we all owe, well, pretty much everything. I already heard from Queen “L” whose own personal husband serves on the ship and thus is often gone for many months at a time. She is looking forward to Queening a bit on board, as am I. (I love the way she closed her e-mail: “Sexually deprived for YOUR DEFENSE, L.” Bwahahaha! Bless her heart—I thanked her MOST sincerely for HER sacrifice as well as her husband’s Service!)

DUANE JONES’ PARADE PHOTOS ARE UP AND READY TO BE VIEWED AND ORDERED! (Remember that Duane donates 20% of all Queen photo sales to Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital so order LOTS!)

The NEW T-SHIRTS we had at the Parade will be in the store very soon—we sold plumb out—sorry. Right now, the NEW HAND-PAINTED SPQ™ WINE GLASSES and the NEW HAND-PAINTED SPQ™ EGG ORNAMENTS are in there and they are pret-ty cute so check ‘em out. Just in time for MOTHER’S DAY!

Many thanks to all who bought Crown/Cruise Raffle tickets—congratulations to MARTHA JEAN BY-GAWD ALFORD who won the Grand Prize—much to the chagrin of her dear friend Robin Mitchell who has prolly bought $10,000 worth of tickets over the last few years and NEVER won. Of course, over the years, Martha Jean had always vowed that, should she win, she would promptly hand it over to her aforementioned dear friend, Robin—however, it was noted by all present that the crown NEVER LEFT MARTHA JEAN’S HEAD from the moment she won and she appears to be a tragic victim of amnesia where all those “promises” are concerned. Who is surprised?

Thanks to all for buying POLE/B*TCH PASSES—all of that money went to the Chirren as well—as did the $$ for the LEAVES on the B*ITCH & BASTID TREES—which were hilarious, by the way. Many of you have written that you are continuing to wear your B*tch passes at home and work and that makes us proud and happy.

Big Kisses to Charles Jackson and The Cutest Boy in the World for letting us auction off the very hair on their heads for the Chirren. TCBITW gets extra points for allowing his nekkid head to be plastered with not-so-temporary tattoos, also for the Chirren. Tom Courtney stepped up and willingly let us shave his quite furry chest—which I can only imagine is ITCHING like a sonofagun about now—for the Chirren. Tom and his friend Jamie were total last minute participants but their level of enthusiasm certainly masked their “virginity!”

The fabulous HILTON STAFF—locally and nationally—raised nearly $2,000 to BUY BACK THE EYEBROWS of their GM, LARRY HOLLINGSWORTH but they were quite willing for his HEAD to be shaved at auction—for the Chirren. Thank you Larry!!!

We are so proud and happy that everybody loves our Chirren as much as we do! THANK YOU for HEPPIN’ US HEP THE CHIRREN—one more time! Can’t wait to do it all again!

No, I am not rested up from the Parade yet. But it was the biggest and best yet, I’m happy to say. It looks like, when the dust finally settles, we will be giving Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital a little more than $20,000.00! We are VERY HAPPY about that! It is less than we did last year—but with our going last in the Parade—which meant NO JELLO WRASSLIN’, we expected that and are happy that we did this well. No worries, we will make up for it next year...in the Jello!

And we aren’t even waiting until next year. If you weren’t at the Bathrobe Brunch, you missed a lot (besides my total, but thankfully temporary, breakdown)—so let me bring you up to speed:

FOR 2011

  • PROCLAMATION: We shall henceforth convene during the FOURTH (4th) weekend in March, with the 1st Zippity Doo Dah™ Parade and the annual Million Queen March™ falling on Saturday, 26 March 2011. You can begin booking Hilton-Jackson rooms for the Parade Weekend Festivities now—but remember to call 601-957-2800 and ask for BILLIE BURNS to do it! (Mention code "SPQ.")
  • YOU have a chance to RIDE ON THE O-FFICIAL SPQ™ FLOAT in the first ever Zippity Doo Dah™ Parade! If your Chapter is The One Who Raises the Most Money for Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital during the course of the next 11 or so months—YOUR CHAPTER WILL GET TO RIDE ON OUR FLOAT WITH US NEXT YEAR! *

*About that: Here’s how it works, basiclly — First, our contact person at Batson for contributions is Lynn Griffin, c/o Public Affairs, 2500 N. State St., Jackson, MS 39216. Her phone number is 601-984-1100. Lynn is the donation specialist. You’ll need to contact her to set up your Chapter’s file for the Zippity Doo Dah™ contest. If you don’t have a Chapter start one by clicking here (your Chapter can just be you initially but you'll need a name for it) or just tell Lynn your name.

Then, as you collect donations—which MUST be made payable to Blair E. Batson Children’s Hospital, you send them to Lynn—with a BIG NOTATION as to Which Chapter Gets the Credit. The actual DONOR will get a Letter of Thanks—and tax deduction support documentation—and your CHAPTER will have that amount “soft credited” to it (meaning: you get credit toward the contest, not taxes!)

We haven’t set the deadline yet but it will be sometime in the month before the 2011 Zippity Doo Dah™ Parade. We will send out regular reports of Who’s In The Lead So Far to help keep you motivated. I will tell you right now, my high school ClassyMates have already been working on this! They are just WAITING for this message to tell them where to send the $$—but they are ON FIRE for this—so heads up and game on! (Also, please note: the float is only So Big. We can haul 15 Queens, max, so if your Chapter has 50 Queens in it, your top 14 fundraisers will get to ride with ME—and MY QUEENS WILL HAVE TO WALK! Bwahahaha! Can this GET any BETTER?!)

Here’s Something Totally Amazing that was announced at the Bathrobe Brunch: thanks to our friend Tim (AKA “Tom”) White, Kenneth Landon, a master lily hybridizer in West Texas, created a brand new, never-before-seen WATERLILY and has NAMED IT AFTER ME! On 16-19 September 2010, I will be in San Angelo, Texas, at the INTERNATIONAL WATERLILY AND WATER GARDENING SOCIETY’S LILY FESTIVAL & SYMPOSIUM for the world premier of the QUEEN JILL! Can you STAND it?! (When she heard this, Queen TammyKatie, who is an encyclopedia of Hollywood Trivia, gasped and said, “This is HUGE! It took them 10 YEARS to name a rose after BARBRA STREISAND!” Now, HOW she knows that and/or WHY she knows that—we don’t know—but there you have it. I got a waterlily without even trying! But alas, I cannot SING, so Barbra is still somewhat ahead, I must grudgingly admit.)

Every month, I write a column for AY Magazine, published in Arkansas—and you can read it and my other articles by clicking on “My Opinion” under the "Departments" tab. This month, it’s about Kyle’s parents (The Cutest Mom and Dad in the World) being ADOPTED.…

I have more “friends” than Facebook will allow now (no one knows why they CARE but they do, so fine)—so I now have two locations where we can play and you can meet up with other Queens from all over: one is the JILL CONNER BROWNE FAN PAGE and the other is THE O-FFICIAL PAGE OF THE WORLD FAMOUS SWEET POTATO QUEENS—please come and join ‘em both!

Write to me anytime at hrhjill@sweetpotatoqueens.com —with funny stories, GOOD OBITUARIES, and/or Questions about Life Itsownself—I'm often wrong, but NEVER IN DOUBT!

Continue Being Particular—

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